I cant stop tumblering my mind is on a wierd cracky wave
I always find it absolutely astonishing when I meet men who are caterers to women with a dignified understanding of themselves first. It makes them radiate a better energy. It’s more mature even if they have nothing in their lives figured out yet- they have a clench on character. I can respect it. Same goes for women I guess- people in general
I feel alive, like the invisible snakes that had been crawling over me for years have finally strided off. The ones making me nervous, controlling my movements- poisoning my better thoughts. The memory of it’s patterns and colors are dead too- it’s just me again.
My limbs, my mind, my heart, my skin, with full control over my virtues, my character, my choices. Not driven by cultural ties from family, by a man, by friends, by what everyone has wanted me to be-
but inspired by all of them, with the ability to release them into thin air as an unattached extension of myself. Fairies- aware and conscious but tough and hardened to people who carry darkness and fear that I have already fought and won, with the hope maybe I could teach them something too.
All of the parts of myself that I love, that are growing that are teaching my old self - remind me there is no going back once you’ve hit this crucial point.
It’s like being powerful, defeating circumstances, and playing with monsters-
Always knowing you’ll be safe-
even if its just temporary.
amazing things have started happening again after some dreadfulness
counting blessings. can i just get to the top aka where i need to be so i can get everyone i love where they wanna be too and we can take weeks off together and celebrate on farms with sheep and organic pale ale and then get back to work and then find a new spot to party
and listen to a lot of moby with the windows down and lick the sun and our future children will all be so hip and crazy just like we were
and they’ll be smart enough to never “grow up” too because grown ups are just baby adults with a few more responsibilities
it feels like the beginning of a new and beautiful era
Q&A #susansontag #manicstreetpreachers
Narratives can make us understand. Photographs do something else. They haunt us.
—Susan Sontag, Regarding the Pain of Others (via irisbells)
Do stuff. be clenched, curious. Not waiting for inspiration’s shove or society’s kiss on your forehead. Pay attention. It’s all about paying attention. attention is vitality. It connects you with others. It makes you eager. stay eager.
—Susan Sontag (via firreproof)
somethings missing in my life/ in me
That’s why she’s in love with you, you know… There were a lot of other boys, but they didn’t scare her. She rather frightened them, I think. You’re very different. But I think you frightened her, and that’s why she likes you.
Passion makes a person stop eating, sleeping, working, feeling at peace. A lot of people are frightened because, when it appears, it demolishes all the old things it finds in its path.
No one wants their life thrown into chaos. That is why a lot of people keep that threat under control, and are somehow capable of sustaining a house or a structure that is already rotten. They are the engineers of the superseded.
Other people think exactly the opposite: they surrender themselves without a second thought, hoping to find in passion the solutions to all their problems. They make the other person responsible for their happiness and blame them for their possible unhappiness. They are either euphoric because something marvelous has happened or depressed because something unexpected has just ruined everything.
Keeping passion at bay or surrendering blindly to it - which of these two attitudes is the least destructive?
I don’t know.
our cat is fat lazy hoe but i love him
I think everyone has inner demons. Things we don’t want people to know, things our insides struggle with on a daily basis. Mistakes, setbacks, failures- the whirlpool of emotions we can hide from ourselves for so long that before we know it- they erode us, our minds, and our health. There is a false and flashy magical bubble, an isolated picture we can project to society- yet the fears we sleep with, only each of us knows. I used to have this thought about how often strangers give me strength, and how the people I love give me my motivation. Light communication between people we hardly know, a smile passed, a hand lent, a door held open…can reassure us that there are always people willing to help, even if you just focus on the subtle things- to remove you from a negative thought in your mind. So try to simmer your anger. In a way, by doing for others, you do for yourself- and there is a cycle of positive energy built.
Then, there are the people that you love. They in a sense motivate you, perhaps indirectly build a pressure of desire on you, but they still insist you fight. They pull your courage to fight the little battles, to assure you in your weakest moments that you are still strong. They help you build a certain to desire to live, and flush those demons- or help you use your demons to your benefit. Sometimes they even create your demons. It might be true that fear and love share the same root, but keep around you the people who encourage your desire. Once your desire dies, so do you.